prayer of reconciliation

LORD, let me just be honest,

I can’t sit here and pretend that everything is okay,

That all is perfect and that I’m in paradise

You know that that’s not so

That it cannot be farther from the truth.

Truth is,

I am having trouble in my prayer life

I feel like I’m in the wilderness

Since though everything is seemingly perfect

Underneath it all I’m falling apart

For I do not have the one who holds it all together close to me anymore

I feel lost

Please Father, be not far from me

I’m sorry for my errors

Inadequacies

My human weakness

My failures and my mistakes

How I constantly keep on tumbling back

Even after you pull me up countless time

How my heart keeps on brewing evil

Even after you have washed me

How I so easily fall prey to the enemy

Even after you have equipped me with just the right tools

And the right arsenal to use against the enemy

He somehow finds a way to overthrow me

Even though you’ve promised me that

You can’t allow that I be tempted beyond what I can handle

And that you will always provide a way to escape it

Father, show me your ways

Release your grace

I don’t want to stray

I want to hold steadfastly

In keeping to your will

And regarding your desires in me

I want to live to fulfill the purpose you had for me

When you created me

I want to learn at your feet

What it means to live right

I want to be your student

In certain thing such as praying

Worshipping, serving and even evangelizing

Your gospel

I do want glory

And fame and recognition

But when I look at why I want them

I see what you meant when you said

That we ask because of wrong motives

But if that’s the case

Then I have never done a thing right

Because though I may do the right thing

But is the motive right

Or am I just doing it to gain something somewhere

So I gaze at you

At your standards so high

And I look at myself

A beaten down dog without a leash

Battered because of my own desires

And deceived because of my blindness

Like a sheep

I lead myself to my own slaughter house

So I wonder

How can you still condone me?

How you can even allow continued association with me

Let alone have fellowship with me

You who is so HOLY

And so sinless

Wash me please

Cleanse me with your blood

Take out any trace of sin in me

And remove all forms of wickedness in my life

Create in me a clean heart

And refresh my body

For it is your temple

Take over my life

And all I have

And make

 Me yours

For

All eternity

Then

To prevent me from going back to sin

Come and live in me

Be my driver, controller, and instructor

Anoint me with your Holy Spirit

And safe guard me from my own self

Fill me with your grace

To prevent me from stumbling back

And lead me in the path of righteousness

For your name sake

Jude 1:24-25

Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling,

 And to present you faultless

Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,

To God our Savior,

Who alone is wise,

Be glory and majesty,

Dominion and power,

Both now and forever.

Amen. (NKJV)